I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
