Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Can I color on your dick again?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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