Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
