Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
