Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
