are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
