No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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