Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize