And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
