did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
