from now on my penis is your penis
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
