I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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