Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
