JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
