How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
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Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
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Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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