We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
