He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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