That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
