Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
