honey bunches of taint.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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