You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
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We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
50% drunk capacity currently
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
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