Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
