Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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