I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
