I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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