We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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