well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
