she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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