I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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