some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Randomize
