I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
