So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize