Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I have so many feelings about this burrito
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Randomize
