Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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