if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Randomize