he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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