Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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