I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
