i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
