turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize