apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
