So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
3pm strippers are depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
i think i just lost a toe
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize