i don't like sucking hair
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
