i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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