dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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