so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
