I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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