It's like God shit irony all over that family
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
