Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
