Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Randomize