my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
