He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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