He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
