could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
