Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Farmville is her only friend.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
