Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
