she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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