Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
it hurts more in the daytime
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
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