I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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