also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Randomize
