i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
